


Because of Oha Asa

by oresama



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, KnB - Freeform, M/M, Other, midotaka - Freeform, not really a ship fic tbh, note: not exactly a crack writer i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2721335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oresama/pseuds/oresama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Oha Asa is law and Takao needs to calm down, probably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because of Oha Asa

**Author's Note:**

> complete whim. not really a ship fic, just crack. inspired by [this](http://oha--asa.tumblr.com/post/104375238183/december-5-2014) oha asa tumblr post and ridiculous twitter chats.

“…Bank?”

Midorima narrows his eyes and squints to read the text on his phone more closely.

> _**OHA ASA: Daily Horoscopes** _
> 
> _3rd: Cancer_
> 
> _Lucky item: Bank (place)_
> 
> _Lucky color: Orange_

Midorima stares at the words for a moment more before snapping his phone shut and pushing up his glasses. If Oha Asa says so, then it can’t possibly go wrong. "Will do."

===

An hour later, Midorima steps into the city bank brimming with confidence. Perhaps what draws people's eyes towards him is his undeniable charm; perhaps it’s his elegant posture. Not once does it occur to him that it is perhaps the blindingly neon orange sweatsuit he picked up on his way to the bank and is now strutting proudly around in.

A security guard eyes him warily as he enters the bank and takes a seat a sizable distance away from the entrance. He seems harmless enough, but just in case, the guard pats his belt to confirm that his handcuffs are there, should he find the need to use them.

Just in case.

===

Three hours in, Midorima yawns; he didn’t think to bring a book with him to keep him occupied while staying at the bank and starts to feel the consequences of boredom. _How careless of me,_ he self-berates, and barely takes half a sigh before jolting in surprise at a loud sound.

"Ah? Could it be... Shin-chan!"

That annoyingly familiar voice rings out through the bank, earning dirty looks from a few accountants and customers. Midorima cringes inwardly and spares a look at the figure rapidly running towards him.

"Tsk... Must we see each other even at the bank, Takao?"

"Aw, don't be like that." Takao snorts as he comes to a stop beside Midorima's seat, pointing blatantly at the other's outfit. "Pfft-- more importantly, were you asleep when you picked out your clothes today?" Takao erupts in a fit of hysterical laughter, far too loud for the quiet setting of the bank.

Midorima clicks his tongue again, refusing to stoop down to Takao's level and engage in pointless argument over his eye-straining sweatsuit. "Orange is today's lucky color. The brighter it is, the more luck I receive." His tone brims with pride. "It's common sense; something _you_ obviously lack."

Takao couldn't care less about whatever bullshit Midorima is sprouting this time; his gleeful mirth only grows in volume while tears of hilarity pool at the corners of his eyes. "God, Shin-chan, I-I can't breathe, where did you even get that-- don't give me that look, seriously, you're _killing_ me--"

The security guard finally decides that enough is enough and marches over to the questionable pair, resolutely snapping a pair of handcuffs on each. One for suspicion, one for disruption. Takao's laughter doesn’t waver in the slightest (Midorima doubts he even notices the guard), but the orange-clad teen stares in surprise at the new metal accessory around his wrists.

"Sir? Is something the matter?"

The guard begins to pull them towards the bank's exit, ignoring Midorima’s confused and indignant protests. Takao's guffaws don’t help.

"Sir, wait, what did I do? Hold on-- Wait a second, listen to me!"

===

Half an hour later, Midorima sits in his jail cell in motionless silence, hands cuffed together. Takao's never-ending howls of revelry float down the hall from a different jail cell, filling the entire space with obnoxious laughter.

Midorima's eye twitches. _That little..._ Snorts start to accompany the gleeful laughs, and, ignoring them, he glances down at his sweatsuit with furrowed eyebrows, wondering why his luck is so severely lacking today.

“My suit…”

His frown deepens. _I knew it._

“It’s not orange enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> midotaka isn't even one of my ships and i'm not a crack writer lol. ah, whims. [takao's laugh tbh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btDh2qxeaOk)
> 
> feedback is always appreciated c: thanks for reading!


End file.
